Proof of a Healer

Our God truly is a healer, and my writing proves that.

I’ve always known that God is a healer, but it wasn’t until I reread some of my older poetry that I realized His healing hands have always been present in my life.

I used to live in my mind. Constantly battling negative thoughts and feeling as if I was losing the battle.

And although I am extremely blessed in life, I have faced storms that I didn’t always know how to navigate.

Years ago, I was not seeking God in the same way I am now. I didn’t rely on Him in the same way that I do now.

And it shows.

This next poem was written years ago, during one of those trying times. The version of myself who wrote this poem would be so happy for and so proud of the woman who writes now.

Most importantly, she would be so grateful for and thank God for His healing power. With Him we won the war!

If you’ve read any of the previous poems I have shared on this blog, I think you’ll understand exactly what I mean.

Inside the Cell

This isn’t prison
Prisoners know why they’re there –
And when they’ll leave
This?
This is something else.
This cell has no escape.
No true reason for existing.
And yet it’s so very real.

The walls of the cell whisper your failures in your ear,
constantly.
Leaving you awake
to watch the ceiling lower itself
until you’re forced
to use every ounce of strength
to keep it from crushing you.
The pressure.
Eventually, the ceiling rises

But suddenly, the air grows thin
You grip your chest as you struggle to breathe
But, oxygen soon returns.

Before you have the chance to relax
You begin sinking
The ground beneath you; quicksand.
You realize;
there will always be something to fight

With no idea as to why you’re stuck in this
cycle
panic strikes

And all hope is gone.

The ground returns to normal.
But the panic remains.
Sometimes, it consumes
And even though the threats are gone
And all seems well again
The fear, the tears, the pain all remain

You bury your emotions,
Plant a smile
And wait for your next battle

This is my anxiety.
This cell is my mind
I am at war with myself
And I’m fighting every day.

“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 30:17