Journal of a Journey

The Nudge I Stopped Ignoring

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything other than a Saturday Lyric for the Soul post.

I have been so consumed with being obedient in every other aspect of my life. I am praying, praising, serving, giving, reading His Word daily, tithing, trying to radiate joy, and whatever else you can think of.

Despite all of that, I knew there was something that I was ignoring. This constant nudge to write a poem, or a blog post, or something.

I’ve sat down to try a few times, but honestly, I wasn’t giving it my full attention, so I struggled. Eventually, that led me to believe I didn’t have anything to say. I’ve treated it like something I’ll “get back to” when life slows down, instead of recognizing it as part of the assignment He’s given me.

Without realizing it, ignoring God’s nudge to write was me being disobedient. And that disobedience opened the door to the enemy.

Soon, I started to doubt if anything I had to write would be good enough anyway. I let the enemy cause me to doubt myself.

I needed clarity. I needed to hear from Him without distractions. So, in another act of obedience, I chose to fast.

I just completed a 3-day water-only fast. During this fast, God continued to show me that obedience is where it all begins.

It was the morning of day two of my fast when I heard the song “We Must Praise.” A song that’s been out for years, and I had never heard it before.

The second line of the song goes “If I were a writer, I would use my pencil.” And after feeling this constant nudge from God, I immediately felt convicted.

God is intentional. If He put writing in me, it’s because He wants me to use it. It’s time I stop running from that and start honoring Him with the gift that He trusted me with.

I sat down and wrote three poems that day!

One thing I’ve realized is that it doesn’t really matter how my writing affects anyone else.

Writing is my release. It’s a way for me to be true to myself. Most importantly, it’s one of the ways I give praise and honor to God.

So, God, here I am. On the path to obedience once again. With my life and with my words, I will give you all the praise.

If He’s nudging you too, I pray you choose obedience.

“Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God.” – Psalm 143:10

Songs For the Soul

♫Saturday Lyric for the Soul♫

Ever heard a song and the lyrics just fill every bit of your heart and soul? Each week, I’ll share the one that poured into me the most.

💛 “If I were a drummer, I would use my cymbal.
If I were a writer, I would use a pencil.
I would use my voice if I were a singer.
No matter who or what we are, we must praise”💛

You’ll be seeing much more of me soon. I once wrote about being faithful with my pen, yet I haven’t been living that out. I’ve been so focused on being obedient in every other area that I’ve been ignoring the very thing I know He’s been nudging me to do. This song didn’t just speak to my soul; it convicted me. It’s time for me to pick up my pen again and honor Him with the gift He placed in me.

Journal of a Journey

He Called, I Answered

Let me tell you about our God.

He is truly faithful and He will always make His presence known.

It’s up to us to pay attention.

For example, the Friday before last, I was on another solo trip to Carolina Beach, North Carolina. It was past 10pm and I was taking a walk on the beach. As I walked, I passed couples, groups of friends, and families enjoying themselves together. For the first time during this trip I thought to myself, “I guess it would be nice to be here with someone else.”

I quickly checked my thought process, continued my walk and took in the view of the moon reflecting off of the water.

As I made my way back to the access point near my hotel, I pulled out my phone to record myself and the water. Within 30 seconds of the video I heard a song start playing.

Now the beach was steps from the boardwalk, where music from restaurants and bars was common.

However, the song playing was Reckless Love and that was quite unexpected. (If you haven’t heard it, go do so)

To my right was an access point to the boardwalk, so I left the beach to listen. Right off the access point, a live performer was playing his guitar and singing on a rooftop. (I later found out it was American Idol contestant Matthew Sexton.)

Within seconds others began gathering near me and recording. It was beautiful to see people come together to worship our God.

Matthew sang one more worship song and ended his performance.

One of the people who gathered near me was a 24 year old videographer, named Zach. Zach had lived in the area for the past 8 years and was shocked to hear worship on the boardwalk, something he said was a rare occurrence.

Seeing so many people stop everything for worship had both of us beyond excited. We were on fire and spent the next hour talking about our love for the Lord, what He’s brought us through, and our prayers for the world around us.

After realizing the time, we went our separate ways. As I walked back to my hotel, it dawned on me how quickly God can act.


Within 10 minutes, I went from thinking it would be nice to be there with someone, to reminding myself I’m never alone with Him, to Him making His presence known and bringing community to me.

That song playing was Him calling me. All I had to do was answer.

I cried tears of gratitude all the way back to my room.

Let me tell you about our God…He WILL show up. He WILL supply ALL your needs. Every time.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19

Songs For the Soul

♫Saturday Lyric for the Soul♫

Ever heard a song and the lyrics just fill every bit of your heart and soul? Each week, I’ll share the one that poured into me the most.

💛And He says love me, love me with your whole heart
He wants it all today
Serve Me, serve Me with your life now
He wants it all today
Bow down, let go of your idols
He wants it all today
He wants it all today
He wants it all today
He wants it all 💛

✝ Over the past two weeks, I’ve felt God calling me to obedience; to choose Him over all else. I can’t always say I’ve responded perfectly, but I know it’s a daily choice to live in a way that pleases Him. Some days I fall short, but I keep trying.

On my way to bible study Wednesday night, I was talking to God and partly to myself, and I just kept repeating that He wants all of me. All of my heart and all of my mind. I drive and vow to keep trying to give Him my all. 
Before bible study, my church has a short worship service. The second song they sang was He Wants It All. As I sang along, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Message received. ✝

Poetry

Walking in Obedience

Last week, I shared how God has been calling me to be faithful with my writing and to use my words to honor Him.

Today, I want to follow through on that obedience by sharing a poem that He placed on my heart. It’s a reflection on what it really means to be obedient to Christ.

Walking in Obedience

Walking with Christ isn’t easy.
It’s on you to say yes or no.
It’s an everyday choice to choose
which path you will follow.

It’s bearing the weight of your cross.
Surrendering wants while the Spirit leads.
Hearing, accepting, and embracing
the call to plant His seeds.

It’s trusting in His will.
Though His will may bring you pain.
It’s enduring through the suffering
for the perseverance you will gain.

It’s letting go without looking back,
Refusing to follow society’s way.
It’s seeking the Kingdom before all.
And deciding to submit and obey.

It’s remembering the blood He shed.
To offer forgiveness for our sins.
Honoring His sacrifice daily;
by listening to the Spirit within.

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” – Luke 9:23

Journal of a Journey

Faithful with My Pen

As a young Christian woman, I am still learning what it means to be obedient to Christ.

Obedience looks different for everyone.
For me, I’ve learned that it looks like putting pen to paper.

As I continue to study His Word and learn what is pleasing to Him, I continue to make changes to my life and my character.

My goal is not to be perfect, but to live a life that is truly pleasing to Him.

There are a few areas of life that I know I still need to work on.

  1. Spreading the Good News.
  2. Building community in Christ.
  3. Serving

The more I learn the importance of sharing the Good News with others, being as introverted as I am, I have struggled with how to do so.

But I think that is a big reason as to why I started this blog in the first place. It’s why I started sharing my poetry on social media.

And obedience for me is sharing words He’s placed on my heart, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Because although I may not be able to voice it aloud just yet, my poetry often speaks to the love God has for us all and what it feels like to be His.

My writing is the gift He’s given me to be able to share His love with others. I love to write. I love to create. And the fact that I can do so and honor Him is a blessing that I have to stop taking for granted.

He has been calling me to be consistent in sharing my writing through this blog and social media posts.

In order to improve that first area, I’m choosing to be obedient by consistently sharing the gift He’s given me each week.

I’ll continue to honor Him in every post and I’ll share my journey as I put myself out there to try to improve the other areas of my life.

Can this introvert find her community in Christ?
Will she get the courage to serve in new ways?
I believe that it’s coming. I just have to do the work.

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” – 1 Peter 4:10

Songs For the Soul

♫Saturday Lyric for the Soul♫

Ever heard a song and the lyrics just fill every bit of your heart and soul? Each week, I’ll share the one that poured into me the most.

💛 “I know You want what’s best for me, and
I know my flesh an enemy, ah ah
So, every single day I’ll try to live a life
that You have called me to. 💛

✝ I know that I’ve been inconsistent with my posts, but I’ve felt a strong pull to change that and on this walk with Him, I am focused on being intentional and living a life that is pleasing to Him. When the world around you is on a different path, remembering who He is and all He’s done is how I stay focused on Him. This song speaks to the reality of taking this walk. ✝

Journal of a Journey

The View After the Rain

It’s been over a month since I made a full blog post, but I’ve had so much to say during my silence.  

After months of working a demanding full-time job remotely, while simultaneously being a caretaker, my life is getting back to “normal.”

I’m back in my own home, back in the office, and my mom has been getting stronger each day. 

Trying to get back into my old rhythm of things has been a struggle. Unfortunately, blogging was not a part of my routine, and despite constantly thinking about it, I haven’t made the time to sit down and just do it. 

It became unsettling to my spirit, so here I am.

I think it’s important to share the impact that the past six months have had on my life. 

God used this trying season of my life to refine me. This season refined my character, helped build my faith in Him and His unwavering love, and taught me what it means to be His child. 

My spirit has never felt so full. I have never felt so whole and filled with joy.

I walk into an office that used to cause me so much stress, with a smile that stays. 

I am a black woman in a corporate office. It has not always been easy for me to navigate an environment where I didn’t feel I belonged.

I am at peace, every moment of the day. That is something I have never known. 

The person I am now is allowing the Spirit to lead me and guide my responses and actions. When stress arises, I stay focused on Him. 

I never doubted that all things work together for our good. 

But to live through the storm and to see that I’ve prospered from it is an overwhelming feeling. 

This is a reminder to stand on your faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. 

I knew the time would come when I would stop talking about being in the storm and be able to testify to having survived it. 

The sky is clear. The sun is shining. And I’m now writing from a place of peace. 

 “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” – 1 Peter 5:10

Journal of a Journey · Poetry

Proof of a Healer

Our God truly is a healer, and my writing proves that.

I’ve always known that God is a healer, but it wasn’t until I reread some of my older poetry that I realized His healing hands have always been present in my life.

I used to live in my mind. Constantly battling negative thoughts and feeling as if I was losing the battle.

And although I am extremely blessed in life, I have faced storms that I didn’t always know how to navigate.

Years ago, I was not seeking God in the same way I am now. I didn’t rely on Him in the same way that I do now.

And it shows.

This next poem was written years ago, during one of those trying times. The version of myself who wrote this poem would be so happy for and so proud of the woman who writes now.

Most importantly, she would be so grateful for and thank God for His healing power. With Him we won the war!

If you’ve read any of the previous poems I have shared on this blog, I think you’ll understand exactly what I mean.

Inside the Cell

This isn’t prison
Prisoners know why they’re there –
And when they’ll leave
This?
This is something else.
This cell has no escape.
No true reason for existing.
And yet it’s so very real.

The walls of the cell whisper your failures in your ear,
constantly.
Leaving you awake
to watch the ceiling lower itself
until you’re forced
to use every ounce of strength
to keep it from crushing you.
The pressure.
Eventually, the ceiling rises

But suddenly, the air grows thin
You grip your chest as you struggle to breathe
But, oxygen soon returns.

Before you have the chance to relax
You begin sinking
The ground beneath you; quicksand.
You realize;
there will always be something to fight

With no idea as to why you’re stuck in this
cycle
panic strikes

And all hope is gone.

The ground returns to normal.
But the panic remains.
Sometimes, it consumes
And even though the threats are gone
And all seems well again
The fear, the tears, the pain all remain

You bury your emotions,
Plant a smile
And wait for your next battle

This is my anxiety.
This cell is my mind
I am at war with myself
And I’m fighting every day.

“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 30:17

Poetry

Chosen

Through it all, God has been faithful, and His presence never left.
It’s an incredible feeling to be known and loved by the One who chose me first.
I tried to capture that feeling with this poem.

To Be Chosen By You.

It’s overwhelming, to say the least

To never have to question it
For I’m certain Your love is true.

To know Your presence will remain
No matter what I’m going through.

I submerge myself in living water
And am made clean in Your view.

And learn that after years of searching
My identity is found in You.

To know that giving You my heart
Is all I ever had to do.

To stop trying to fill a void
And finally be made new.

It’s overwhelming, to say the least

To be chosen by You.